Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
