Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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