WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
