All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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