You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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