What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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