i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
