Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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