Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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