Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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