She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Randomize
