I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
