come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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