My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
