Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
