I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize