Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
