And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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