then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
