the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize