we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
