It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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