I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
