She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
