You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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