She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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