We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
