very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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