im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Two words: nipple clamps
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