We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
