how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
