Well apparently he's into motor boating.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
