i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
