If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
