you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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