I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
