You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
