What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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