Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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