she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
