Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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