whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
