put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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