i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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