Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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