What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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