Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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