I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
