She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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