it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
