i love accidental penises.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
