I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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