I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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