I didn't shave. On purpose
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
