Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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