Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
