when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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