there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
