no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
True strength comes from lack of pants
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
