There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
