hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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