Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
