Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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