the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
