I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Someone came in the potted fern
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
how drunk are you?
Several
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
