RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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