so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
