did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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