She said her name was "party"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
