how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
