Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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