So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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